Losing Control

The demon stares at me,
messy, dark hair and red-rimmed
black eyes reflecting a million images of myself
in the mirror, back at me
It sits there on my shoulder
and I wonder how long I have been living half-alive
and my eyes sting with unspilled tears
as I struggle to remember who I was even a week ago
It's myself I can't recall, and other memories disappear
and the mirror doesn't reflect me anymore
all I can see is the
demon in my own eyes, its black eyes
watching me watch myself
I try to pretend but the happy-face-grin doesn't feel right
and I can barely sustain it, and I
am forgetting how to be human, how to
interact with others and how to feel anything
besides an empty, aching hunger
I forget how happiness had felt
in the days before this found me
and I can't recall the flavor
of the joy that friends once brought
Now, I'm just a burden-
a ticking time-bomb in their lives
until the day the demon makes me
tear myself apart
and paint my darkest, ugly secrets
with my blood upon their walls.